Saturday, 9 October 2010
The secret of my success....
I havent made the tri club shortlist for improver of the year. I am a bit gutted, but can quantify my success as so much more than this.
Looking across my life, i think, sometimes it is a small miracle that i have made it this far. As a depressive, sometimes just getting out of bed in the morning is a success for me, and for many others. To have made it to this point, without any major illnesses, no hospital admissions, no breaks of significant bones, no criminal record.....not too bad.;-)
in 3 weeks i will be 39. what successes can i count across the years? A difficult childhood, my mum dying when i was 9.....being, like many others a somewhat tormented teen, but making it through to my twenties....being fat, then slim, then fat, then slim, then well, what am i now? Muscular and athletic. I have had my heart broken along the way, and have broken a few too......i have been a bride, a wife, and now a mother. My children are strong and healthy, happy and settled......this year alone, i have run the london marathon, taken 11 % off last years ironman time, and have had the honour of being at the births of two beautiful healthy babies.I had a good holiday, where i managed not to have a single argument, and i have lost half a stone...
Is that a measure of success? since July 18th, i have felt a failure, mostly as a triathlete, but sometimes in other ways......but that has mostly been the knock on effect of my inability to train. After 50k on the bike in germany, my back seized. Since then, i have not been able to run, or ride. having gone from 15 hours a week training to nothing, i have been hell to live with. Grumpy and moody and just incredibly frustrated......
The past few weeks i have been seeing a chiropractor. I was sceptical at first about whether he could help me, but in the past 2 weeks i have been able to run, 4 times, with no pain. But cycling has eluded me.Why, i am not sure. But fear is a powerful de-motivator. having felt the unbearable pain in germany 3 times since i have been back, made me too scared to ride out, even for an hour or so.
but today i can measure my success in 4 simple words.
i rode my bike,
and it didnt hurt.
(ok, that is 8! :-) )