Tuesday, 4 May 2010


Continuing my musings post marathon, i remembered something vaguely amusing..but most definitely strange.
I have over the years had issues with going in public. You know. Letting go when there is someone next door. And they can hear you. What i suffer from is PUI. Public Urination Issues. It isn't just peeing either. Number twos are Out of the question. Even in my own home if there is a guest in the house (yeah, OK. i admit it. i am a wierdo).

Peeing in a wetsuit is different. We all do it. Sometimes it is the only way to get warm. And peeing in front of the husband/kids is not such a problem. Nor is peeing in front of a sibling..though i might draw the line at my little brother....who is 6ft tall now.I have, to the shock of my daughter, been known to pee in the bath in cases of dire need; like when she is on the loo and messing about and i am SO desperate it is perch on the edge of the bath or burst.

In Lanzarote last year, a friend of mine came face to face with my PUI, when i finally conceded that i just had to go, half way around a 180km bike ride. She has no such issues, and can just go on the side of the road. Me? i had to dismount the bike, run across the road, hop over a wall and then ensure that i couldn't be seen by ANYONE, least of all the NASA space satellite orbiting 5 miles up.......then, and only then could i go. Such blessed relief.

So why is this relevant, post marathon? In the start areas were the usual loos. and the usual queues. There were also tented areas for the men to go to their urinals and pee. And this is the first time i have ever come across female urinals. Manned, or should that be womanned by a slightly embarrassed young lady, i went in..more out of morbid curiosity than dire need. I was handed one of these , a small sliver of cardboard that unfolded. The idea being, clearly that you stand up, put this between your legs and use it to direct the flow of urine into the urinal. Knowing me, and my PUI there was NO WAY i was going to master this.....not without feeling the burning shame of everyone around me....and probably getting wet feet.

In a sudden and unusual display of balls (or not) i took the more lady like approach. And squatted. Along side several other ladies. And we joked about the small cardboard willy things. Has my PUI been cured? I don't know....but at least i didn't get pee feet :-)

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