I got called a Chav on saturday, by a man in his mid 50's. In a car park. This was clearly the basest insult he could think of. And all over a parking space.
Picture, if you would, a car park, out the edges of the centre of Oxford, if that makes sense. It is saturday lunch time. The car park, is, predictably full. I enter the car park, as there are no useful signs saying FULL, and decide to try my luck, as this one does have a fairly high turnover. There are two cars in front of me, the lead one is a silver 4x4, and the male passenger is not in the car, but is obviously on space guarding duty. A woman approaches her car, which is parked close to where i am waiting. I reverse a little, but think better of it, figuring that i should wait my turn..stealing a space when i am 3rd in a queue is churlish and naughty. Silver 4x4 see's the woman approaching the car, so turns round pulls up alongside me and indicates. Ahead, another space becomes available, so car 2 moves. This, i figure puts me next in line. So i wait a bit longer, answering the kids as to why we are just sat here....when i see a man, approach his car, and get in it, and reverse out of a space. BINGO!
So, i move around the car park to the newly available space, when lo, who should appear in it but male passenger from the 4x4! i gesticulate, and, opening my window, politely ask him to move. He then says, but we have been waiting the longest, we have been here for ages etc etc etc. I then point out to him that he had made the move on the first space that came available. It transpired, although i hadnt seen, that the owner of the original car, had approached her car, chucked her shopping bags in, and walked away again. I pointed out to him that that was not my fault, and that he or rather his partner had made the decision to go for that space, at which point he got all stroppy, stormed off and shouted 'I hope you have a happy life' To which i said, oh i will, thank you! Sweetly, of course.
Parked the car, and proceeded to walk across the car park to get my ticket. At which point, silver 4x4 came driving towards me, VERY aggressively. The man was now in the passenger seat again, and they were both clearly very agitated. He opened his window and yelled at me, and called me a chav! I approached the now stationary vehicle and looked at him and i asked 'why was i a chav? Oh, the piercings, of course! Well, i might be a chav, but i also had a job at Oxford university....'
'Oh really? what in?'
'Cardiac metabolism, actually.Tell me,' i said, ' If you had been in the queue in Tesco, (ah, this clearly gave the game away, i was a Chav after all! Should have said waitrose!) and you realised you had forgotten to buy eggs, and had gone, with your trolley to get them, would you expect me to wait for you to return?' I tried to explain that as far as i was concerned they had given up their 'right' at the head of the queue, when they chose to chase up the first space. The fact that its occupant didn't leave, was not actually my fault.
'Still,' i said, 'you are setting a fine example for my children'
'Your children? They aren't here, are they?'
'No, i said. They are in my car. in MY parking space.'
Smiling sweetly i continued on my merry way, whilst they drove off. Chunterring and revving their engine. Agressively.
I dont think he actually realised i was nearly 40. Should i actually take it as a compliment?