Monday, 7 June 2010

Scattergunning. Other wise known as spreading.

I have a bit of a bad habit. This is simply allowing myself to be spread a bit thin. I am better at saying NO than i used to, but still need to remember my needs and that of my family come first. I think someone once called it volunteeritis, where you have an inability to say no to anything, and end up doing half jobs on everything, simply because you feel you cant let anyone down.
Since taking up Ironman, i have learnt that this scattergun approach to life, running round leaving little bits of myself everywhere is impossible. It just cant be done. Or at least it cant be done with any semblance of dignity or satisfaction. You can please some of the people some of the time.....
For the most part, the house is mostly clean and tidy, usually a bit more of the latter than the former, but it is ok. Not sure Kim and Aggie would be best pleased, but it has a long way to slide before i see them knocking at the door. We all wear clean clothes which, mostly down to W are usually crease free. There is usually something tasty on the supper table (tonights was delish,..and even better NOT made by me :-). But some things do get neglected. I was reminded of this as i brushed the sparklers teeth this evening.

I got a text message. This, in itself is not an unusual thing! My phone is rarely from my side, and i have been known to send upwards of 1000 texts in a month. What was unusual was that it was completely unprompted and a lovely surprise. In my attempt to cover all the bases, when i am IM training, some things get neglected a bit. One of these is some of my friendships. If i have a friend who is more enthused about something than another currently, i will usually spend a little more time with that person. If someone wants to go for a bike ride i will do that. It is, i think human nature.
This means however, that i spend a lot of my time, feeling a bit like a rotten friend to the others, who i dont get to spend as much time with as i would like. So this text was a lovely surprise as it said that my friend also missed me, and that she looked forward to us spending more time together. (she also said i was a nicer person to be around this year, which i am relieved about)

Some of my friends i have leant on in the past few years more than maybe i should have. who have done their best for me, looked out for me and stood by me, perhaps when i would have thrown up my hands in disgust. It is to them i owe a duty of care, to try and spread myself less thinly, but with more care and attention, and to stand up and say to my friends i love you guys. That having you in my life makes me a better person, and i am honoured that you want me in yours. Thank you.

(If i havent put a picture up here of you and me. It isnt because i dont love you to bits. It is probably because i dont have one......this is something i aim to remedy!)

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